Parents
Inevitably the parents have received a lot of bad press over the riots, especially considering that many who took part were children as young as seven. The question of good and bad parenting rose to the forefront in many discussions and debates and many angry fingers were pointed at what is deemed to be poor parenting and a lack of family values. So firstly, looking at the issue of bad parenting, yes it does exist and yes it is a major factor in the behaviour of the youngsters involved. Long has there been talk of the effect of a broken household, the lack of a father figure, children going from foster home to care home to hostels and getting lost in the system – these are all important things that need to be tackled hard and head on. I am not a parent myself but having witnessed family and friends who are, I can say it is quite possibly the hardest full time job you will ever go through. It’s not the type of job where you can have a bad mid-year appraisal and set yourself objectives for the end of the year, it is the type of job where every decision, every action and every moment causes a knock on effect.
On a regular basis I see young kids roaming the streets in my local area late at night, drunk, high, being abusive and I wonder to myself where their parents are? Why aren’t the parents dragging them by their ear back home? I guess for me it is alien purely because of the upbringing I had, I could never have got away with being out after 9pm on a school night, at the time I used to moan and whinge about how restrictive that was and what a bore it was but now looking back I thank my parents for the foresight they had. My father always said to me that I wouldn’t understand his way of parenting until much later in life, and now I do. The parents are the front line and have the biggest responsibility of all when it comes to their own children, that is why I feel so strongly that parents need to set boundaries and guidelines from a young age. It doesn’t guarantee perfection, not at all, but it does help to shape this young person into an adult. But I can see how this can seem too idealistic, and am fully aware that even if parents try their best the young person still has a mind of their own.
But lets not just scream and shout at the parents. The flipside to this is that there are thousands and thousands of parents out there who due to the society we live in have no choice but to give their children free reign. We live in an age now where the cost of living is sky high; welfare reforms, tax changes, pensions and other financial constraints are meaning that there are many out there who are having to work two, maybe even three, jobs a day just to make ends meet and make sure their kids have a roof over their heads and food on the table. Where does David Cameron or any other politician for that matter think these parents will find time to engage with their children? At what point do they have the opportunity to sit down and ask their child how school was today, what homework they have, who their friends are and what they have been up to all day? For many parents youth clubs and after school clubs are a God send as it means their child has somewhere to go while they are at work, but with these closing up and down the country, where do these kids go now? We clearly saw many mums and dads taking part in the looting and for me that showed the desperation that many are facing. It does not justify their actions in any way but raises questions as to why whilst living in one of the richest countries in the world people still have to steal to survive.
Acting Commissioner Tim Godwin called for parents to stop their children from going out and taking part in the riots, how did he expect them to do this? When there is a 16 year old young man standing in front of you telling you he is going out, apart from sheer physical force how else are you going to stop them? This in part is down to the way authorities have taken away what I believe to be the power to exercise discipline in the household. Children know how protected they are and many use that to their advantage, the threat of ‘you can’t do anything to me, I’m a minor’ reverberates all over the country. Parents are scared to even take a firm grip of their child who is running out into the middle of a busy road out of fear that someone may report them for ‘child abuse’. I’m not condoning violence and domestic abuse towards children, but parents should not feel scared of disciplining their own children, they should be able to implement rules without the fear of looking like an abusive parent. David Cameron boldly stated that “if you are old enough to commit these crimes then you are old enough to face the punishment” – really?? What has he got in mind for the seven year old, or the 11 year old? I mean we live in a society where if an under 18 commits a crime then they are given complete anonymity in the press, why? Why should they not be exposed just like every other criminal? These kids need to realise the severity of their actions and telling them off whilst wrapping them up in cotton wool is not going to achieve that.
I end this segment with a special mention to Tariq Jahan, the father of Harun Jahan, who bravely and confidently stood in front of the country and delivered a message that reached the hearts of millions. In a matter of minutes this father, this human being, achieved more than any do-gooding politician could ever do. It is people like this that we need to have at the forefront leading the way for a better society. My thoughts and condolences go out to the Jahan family, and the families of the brothers Shazad Ali and Abdul Musavir, may they rest in peace.
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